Today I lingered. This is not my usual pace. I am focused, purposeful, and direct. My thoughts and actions are meaningful and targeted. Lingering isn’t part of my program.
Lingering encourages seeing, feeling, and discovery. It is what children do. That makes me happy.
During our spring retreat, we focused on giving a voice to our inner child. I think most people do this in a Shadow way. They let out their Wild Child in rebellious hedonism. They vomit all over people putting their woundedness on display. That’s not what I am talking about. I am talking about daring, play, laughter, and a lack of keeping score. A lack of self consciousness.
I am talking about being without a reason or explanation. Animals are. They don’t ask if they are worthy enough. No monkey asks “Is my butt too big.” Giraffes don’t wonder if they have enough in their 401K. They trust. Period. End of story. They don’t worry about their to do list, their next meal, or retirement. They just live one moment at a time, and somehow everything gets done. Today, I did too.
How do we become Busy Backsons? Does the score at the end of the game really matter? Does accumulating comfort matter? Is that what why we make life so complicated and busy?
Right now I am sitting with a cup of hot tea looking out the window at a glorious canopy of trees with a brilliant blue sky behind it. While I can see all the things that are undone around me and notice that to do list in my head, right now, all I want to do is continue to look out the window and be right here.
We tend to call that “lazy.” I think I’d could use more laziness in my life. When I die, I want to feel like I have been here. So today I will linger.